Not Gay Enough
Aug. 24th, 2006 02:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
talkingsoupI need to read more gay novels.
It sounds weird, yeah. If I was writing a novel where my characters are doctors I'd say, "I need to read more medical journals." If I had astronauts, I'd say, "I need to find Buzz Aldrin's autobiography." It's the same thing. Research.
Cause really, much as I love E and Kail, I don't want them to come off as, you know, fake. There are certain details, some of them the gory kind, that I need to know.
You know, it's almost weird that I don't really know any gay people. I know some lesbians and some bisexuals (<--labeling! *hate!*), but no gay guys. I fricking go to Ithaca College and I don't know anyone who's gay.
It's kind of weird that I'm saying this at all.
Hm.
Why do I always fall in love with the tragic pairings? Sirius/Remus? Come on. The time will come when Shoebox will stab us all in the heart, and I know that and love it all the same. Like I'm an emotional masochist or something. AkuRoku? Sweet Baby Jesus. Masochist. Ennis/Jack? I even saw that one coming and I still love those cowboys to death. Hisoka/Tsuzuki? No one's died--yet--but holy fuck dark, tortured past, and there's never any respite for them! Hiei/Kurama? ....Okay, not "stab-you-in-the-fugging-heart," but the whole demons-with-the-dark-past thing...yeah.
Freaking Romeo/Romeo complex or something (wait, that doesn't work, that's like mas-*mfff!!* Whatever, you get the idea.). Doomed lovers and all that.
Everyone I love dies. I ship the ships that hit the reefs and sink.
I'm reading this beautiful AkuRoku fic right now, and you can just tell that tragedy is coming, but it's so darn wonderful I can't let it go.
Masochist.
Can we tell I'm depressed?
It sounds weird, yeah. If I was writing a novel where my characters are doctors I'd say, "I need to read more medical journals." If I had astronauts, I'd say, "I need to find Buzz Aldrin's autobiography." It's the same thing. Research.
Cause really, much as I love E and Kail, I don't want them to come off as, you know, fake. There are certain details, some of them the gory kind, that I need to know.
You know, it's almost weird that I don't really know any gay people. I know some lesbians and some bisexuals (<--labeling! *hate!*), but no gay guys. I fricking go to Ithaca College and I don't know anyone who's gay.
It's kind of weird that I'm saying this at all.
Hm.
Why do I always fall in love with the tragic pairings? Sirius/Remus? Come on. The time will come when Shoebox will stab us all in the heart, and I know that and love it all the same. Like I'm an emotional masochist or something. AkuRoku? Sweet Baby Jesus. Masochist. Ennis/Jack? I even saw that one coming and I still love those cowboys to death. Hisoka/Tsuzuki? No one's died--yet--but holy fuck dark, tortured past, and there's never any respite for them! Hiei/Kurama? ....Okay, not "stab-you-in-the-fugging-heart," but the whole demons-with-the-dark-past thing...yeah.
Freaking Romeo/Romeo complex or something (wait, that doesn't work, that's like mas-*mfff!!* Whatever, you get the idea.). Doomed lovers and all that.
Everyone I love dies. I ship the ships that hit the reefs and sink.
I'm reading this beautiful AkuRoku fic right now, and you can just tell that tragedy is coming, but it's so darn wonderful I can't let it go.
Masochist.
Can we tell I'm depressed?
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 09:23 am (UTC)Damn straight it's harder...I can't even imagine how tough that must be.
I guess I'll just run with what I've got going for them now, and if I figure out anything new later I can always tweak it. Lol, I'm taking a Queer Studies class this semester which should help, and which should be fugging awesome in and of itself.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 12:55 pm (UTC)