talkingsoup: (mouse deer)
So I've come to the conclusion that I'm bi.

Yep.

Well, I've said it, so there that is. This is pretty much what's been stressing me out for the past week or so, though it's kind of been going on for years. Since I was 12, actually, or so. Only over the weekend did I kind of really realize it, though. So, yeah. We'll see what happens with this new discovery.

Pat and I broke up. I'm upset about it, but I think it was for the best. It's not right to be in a relationship when it might turn out that I'm just leading him on. *sigh* But it ended on good terms, so we're still friends and we should still be able to hang out without making things awkward.

So, in other news, there's a blizzard that's been going on all day, so much so that I didn't have any of my classes today. Well, technically I was supposed to go to Grammar, but I looked outside--snow, horizontal wind, unpaved sidewalks--and said "no." Presentations for Women and Writing was cancelled too, which was good, because I didn't have to finish the powerpoint. Woot! Dunno if it's gonna be rescheduled or not.

Last night I finished the fic chapter!! Yay! So that's been posted, and you can get to it in the sidebar by clicking "My place in the Pit." Dunno if I entirely like it, but oh well. It's up and that's what counts.

Oh, and, reaffirming my belief that April is a horrible month, there was a school shooting today at Virginia Tech, the worst in history. 32 dead it sounds like. And the worst part is, there was a two hour gap between shootings where the college should have gotten off their asses and fucking warned people. Man. I hate April. All the terrible stuff happens this month. Columbine. Hitler's birthday. Oklahoma City bombing. And so on.

*sigh*
talkingsoup: (rain)
I need to read more gay novels.

It sounds weird, yeah. If I was writing a novel where my characters are doctors I'd say, "I need to read more medical journals." If I had astronauts, I'd say, "I need to find Buzz Aldrin's autobiography." It's the same thing. Research.

Cause really, much as I love E and Kail, I don't want them to come off as, you know, fake. There are certain details, some of them the gory kind, that I need to know.

You know, it's almost weird that I don't really know any gay people. I know some lesbians and some bisexuals (<--labeling! *hate!*), but no gay guys. I fricking go to Ithaca College and I don't know anyone who's gay.

It's kind of weird that I'm saying this at all.

Hm.

Why do I always fall in love with the tragic pairings? Sirius/Remus? Come on. The time will come when Shoebox will stab us all in the heart, and I know that and love it all the same. Like I'm an emotional masochist or something. AkuRoku? Sweet Baby Jesus. Masochist. Ennis/Jack? I even saw that one coming and I still love those cowboys to death. Hisoka/Tsuzuki? No one's died--yet--but holy fuck dark, tortured past, and there's never any respite for them! Hiei/Kurama? ....Okay, not "stab-you-in-the-fugging-heart," but the whole demons-with-the-dark-past thing...yeah.

Freaking Romeo/Romeo complex or something (wait, that doesn't work, that's like mas-*mfff!!* Whatever, you get the idea.). Doomed lovers and all that.

Everyone I love dies. I ship the ships that hit the reefs and sink.

I'm reading this beautiful AkuRoku fic right now, and you can just tell that tragedy is coming, but it's so darn wonderful I can't let it go.

Masochist.

Can we tell I'm depressed?

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