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Gah, I feel useless. I don't know what's wrong with me, but for some reason, I can't bring myself to write. I've just been lazy but at the same time, it's almost like I don't want to.
I think the length and time I've spent with Mot is starting to get to me. It's the same thing that happened to the original Taenailo story, to Alchemist, and to Pentagram. I've gotten bored with it, and I hate myself for feeling that way. I mean, it's not so much that I don't like writing it, it's just that it's dragging on and on, I seem to be getting no closer to the end, and plus, I already know everything that's going to happen. It's like seeing a movie for the thousandth time--enjoyable, but you know how it's going to end and all. Admittedly, I don't know what happens after this first book ends. So it's like a combination of me just wanting to get this one through so I can start thinking about the next one, and me wanting to leave it alone and do something new. And at the same time, I almost dread finishing this one, because then I have to work on the next one, which will probably be even longer. Gah!
I really do want to work on my other projects. I want to keep going with the Penta rewrite. I want to get into North. North so far is an uphill battle--I still have a lot to work out, and mostly I've just been picking at it (I do have a full Kai and Jae scene though). And I'm worried, because even though it's just in the planning stages, and even though I only have the beginning worked out, North is already looking like it's going to be another giant motherfucker like Mot. And if that happens, will I lose interest in it, like what's happening with Mot? (I'm doing everything I can not to let that happen, because I love Mot too much, but still).
Goddamn it, why can't I ever be concise? Why do I always have to have ensemble casts? Goddamn it Maggie Furey, how the hell did you manage to pull this off? I have six characters in North and it's already looking like it's going to explode--she had what, twelve main characters or something in the Shadowleague Trilogy, but she kept it to three nicely sized books!
This is why I suck so much at writing short stories. I'm so fucking long-winded! I might as well be fucking Leo Tolstoy. Like I'm ever going to sell anything, the way I write now. Like anyone's gonna want to read these giant motherfuckers I churn out.
I'm sorry. I know I'm acting like a twelve-year-old. I just needed to let it all out. I've just been feeling so unmotivated and lazy and like such a crappy writer. I really, really want to work on my other projects, like North, Ramsey, Desert and all, but it just won't come. It's like the muse is on vacation. And when I write Mot, it just feels dry and lifeless.
Maybe that's why I've felt so crappy. Maybe I'm just not in it. I guess this is what real writer's block is like.
*sigh*
In other news, I have a movie review for y'all.
( Party Monster )
In the meantime, I'm trying to decide on a name for my Nintendo DS. I'm thinking either Ezili Dantor or Morrigan. Both of whom are goddess-types, are dark and warrior-like, and generally badass. Look 'em up.
I think the length and time I've spent with Mot is starting to get to me. It's the same thing that happened to the original Taenailo story, to Alchemist, and to Pentagram. I've gotten bored with it, and I hate myself for feeling that way. I mean, it's not so much that I don't like writing it, it's just that it's dragging on and on, I seem to be getting no closer to the end, and plus, I already know everything that's going to happen. It's like seeing a movie for the thousandth time--enjoyable, but you know how it's going to end and all. Admittedly, I don't know what happens after this first book ends. So it's like a combination of me just wanting to get this one through so I can start thinking about the next one, and me wanting to leave it alone and do something new. And at the same time, I almost dread finishing this one, because then I have to work on the next one, which will probably be even longer. Gah!
I really do want to work on my other projects. I want to keep going with the Penta rewrite. I want to get into North. North so far is an uphill battle--I still have a lot to work out, and mostly I've just been picking at it (I do have a full Kai and Jae scene though). And I'm worried, because even though it's just in the planning stages, and even though I only have the beginning worked out, North is already looking like it's going to be another giant motherfucker like Mot. And if that happens, will I lose interest in it, like what's happening with Mot? (I'm doing everything I can not to let that happen, because I love Mot too much, but still).
Goddamn it, why can't I ever be concise? Why do I always have to have ensemble casts? Goddamn it Maggie Furey, how the hell did you manage to pull this off? I have six characters in North and it's already looking like it's going to explode--she had what, twelve main characters or something in the Shadowleague Trilogy, but she kept it to three nicely sized books!
This is why I suck so much at writing short stories. I'm so fucking long-winded! I might as well be fucking Leo Tolstoy. Like I'm ever going to sell anything, the way I write now. Like anyone's gonna want to read these giant motherfuckers I churn out.
I'm sorry. I know I'm acting like a twelve-year-old. I just needed to let it all out. I've just been feeling so unmotivated and lazy and like such a crappy writer. I really, really want to work on my other projects, like North, Ramsey, Desert and all, but it just won't come. It's like the muse is on vacation. And when I write Mot, it just feels dry and lifeless.
Maybe that's why I've felt so crappy. Maybe I'm just not in it. I guess this is what real writer's block is like.
*sigh*
In other news, I have a movie review for y'all.
( Party Monster )
In the meantime, I'm trying to decide on a name for my Nintendo DS. I'm thinking either Ezili Dantor or Morrigan. Both of whom are goddess-types, are dark and warrior-like, and generally badass. Look 'em up.
