Ugh, don't get me started. I thought Michael's was bad; my first day at Macy's left me near tears (I even had a dream that night about the store burning down). Soul-destroying, indeed! "Sort of fulfilling" definitely counts for something!
True, RPing pretty much destroyed my social life because I couldn't fit it, writing, school and work into any reasonable schedule, but the better writing, I think, was definitely worth it even if it meant writing less.
I tend to feel the same way, and then I have to remind myself that 1) we all have our lives to live and we can't feel too indebted to situations that we may or may not be able to change anyway and 2) siblings are always going to make their own mistakes and knowing that I set a good example (as I'm sure you did) is about all I can ask for. The last thing any younger sibling wants is another parent encouraging them to do the right thing; they've always been able to learn from the elder's example and are driven to discover *something, anything* on their own, I think. One recent conversation I had with Jess illustrates the respect-rivalry issue nicely: She looked up to me but I was always the first one to do everything so when I got my first boyfriend, she decided (at 14) she'd at least be the first one to have sex. Crazy! It's just sort of unavoidable, the volatility of teenage passions that might turn one bad decision into 10 or 100. Development is way too complex for anyone to feel responsible for another's issues with responsibility... though I wish it were that simple, it might solve a lot of problems and make me more interested in parenting someday....
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2010-06-05 01:10 am (UTC)True, RPing pretty much destroyed my social life because I couldn't fit it, writing, school and work into any reasonable schedule, but the better writing, I think, was definitely worth it even if it meant writing less.
I tend to feel the same way, and then I have to remind myself that 1) we all have our lives to live and we can't feel too indebted to situations that we may or may not be able to change anyway and 2) siblings are always going to make their own mistakes and knowing that I set a good example (as I'm sure you did) is about all I can ask for. The last thing any younger sibling wants is another parent encouraging them to do the right thing; they've always been able to learn from the elder's example and are driven to discover *something, anything* on their own, I think. One recent conversation I had with Jess illustrates the respect-rivalry issue nicely: She looked up to me but I was always the first one to do everything so when I got my first boyfriend, she decided (at 14) she'd at least be the first one to have sex. Crazy! It's just sort of unavoidable, the volatility of teenage passions that might turn one bad decision into 10 or 100. Development is way too complex for anyone to feel responsible for another's issues with responsibility... though I wish it were that simple, it might solve a lot of problems and make me more interested in parenting someday....