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In the Wind, Now
Oct. 20th, 2007 10:24 pmSo my dog, Shadow, died this morning.
My brother called me from the vet with my parents. I guess Shadow couldn't walk anymore. They had to put him to sleep. It wouldn't have been fair, otherwise. Shadow always liked to run.
I always worried this was going to happen. Shadow was old. I knew it was going to happen soon. I just didn't want to get a phone call. I wanted to be there with him. With my family.
I heard it all, though. My dad was on the phone with me when they gave Shadow the shot. Dad was crying. I've never, ever heard him cry before.
I just wanted to be there, you know?
I don't think people who have never had a pet--and by pet I mean like a dog, cat, horse or something--can really understand. Shadow might not have been human, but he was a person. He was part of our family.
Had a hard time this morning. Julie, silly and amazing person that she is, postponed her date to stay with me and make me hot chocolate. Love that girl.
It's weird to think that I'm going to go home and he won't be there. That I'll never find dog hair in my food again. That there won't be an extra stocking hung at Christmas. That my Dad will never send me another e-mail about something funny that Shadow did. And all the things that won't be used, like the dog food, the dog dishes, the leash. He was a constant. Something that's just always there. He's not supposed to just go away.
It's tough, but I think I'm okay, mostly. They're right when they say that remembering all the good times helps. And I know he's happier. I don't believe in God or Heaven or any of it, but wherever Shadow is, I know he can run again. He can chase squirrels and motorcycles and clouds all he wants, and try to catch snowballs in his mouth, and jump up on everyone. He's in the wind now, and I bet he loves it.
You've got the whole world to run through now, puppy. Have fun out there.
My brother called me from the vet with my parents. I guess Shadow couldn't walk anymore. They had to put him to sleep. It wouldn't have been fair, otherwise. Shadow always liked to run.
I always worried this was going to happen. Shadow was old. I knew it was going to happen soon. I just didn't want to get a phone call. I wanted to be there with him. With my family.
I heard it all, though. My dad was on the phone with me when they gave Shadow the shot. Dad was crying. I've never, ever heard him cry before.
I just wanted to be there, you know?
I don't think people who have never had a pet--and by pet I mean like a dog, cat, horse or something--can really understand. Shadow might not have been human, but he was a person. He was part of our family.
Had a hard time this morning. Julie, silly and amazing person that she is, postponed her date to stay with me and make me hot chocolate. Love that girl.
It's weird to think that I'm going to go home and he won't be there. That I'll never find dog hair in my food again. That there won't be an extra stocking hung at Christmas. That my Dad will never send me another e-mail about something funny that Shadow did. And all the things that won't be used, like the dog food, the dog dishes, the leash. He was a constant. Something that's just always there. He's not supposed to just go away.
It's tough, but I think I'm okay, mostly. They're right when they say that remembering all the good times helps. And I know he's happier. I don't believe in God or Heaven or any of it, but wherever Shadow is, I know he can run again. He can chase squirrels and motorcycles and clouds all he wants, and try to catch snowballs in his mouth, and jump up on everyone. He's in the wind now, and I bet he loves it.
You've got the whole world to run through now, puppy. Have fun out there.
