Gah

So I had this totally ridiculous panic attack last night that lasted hours, about which I could do nothing at all. Nothing worked. So I pretty much just panicked from 2:30 to, oh say 4:30 or 5, until I wore myself out. It was easily the worst one in years. But, whatever. I survived. I was pretty worried today that something would happen during classes--since it was my first day for the Tuesday/Thursday classes, and I didn't know what to expect, but frankly, I only get these things at night--the bad ones, anyway. During the day there's too many distractions. So the day went fine...kinda worried about tonight though. I decided to start keeping a journal type thing to figure out if there are any consistencies to both the catalysts behind the attacks and all the contributing factors. I also figured out that I need to start taking responsibility for this thing. For a long time I've simply accepted them and not taken responsibility for actively getting rid of them or figuring out the root cause. So I'm going to start taking responsibility.

So I had Intro to Sociology today, Intro to Creative Writing, Personal Essay and the German TA section. All pretty good, though the professor in Personal Essay had this voice that just...almost put me to sleep. Seriously, I could barely keep my eyes open. 'Course it probably would have helped to get some sleep....

Just finished watching American Idol, ha ha. The auditions are always worth it. SVU's on now. Woot.

*sigh* I hope tonight goes well.