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Look Who's Back! (Didja Miss Me??)
May. 31st, 2005 10:47 pmOK.
Officially.
No one.
Is ever.
Going to read.
Kaz's Story.
I say this not because it's bad writing (it sort of is). I say this not because it was never meant to be a part of the Penta project.
I say this because Kazriel's Story is the place where I am breaking down the last of the roadblocks I have shied away from in the past.
To be blunt, I am no longer a writing virgin.
I figure my mentality is going to change once it's done (I'm 104 pages in currently--pretty good considering it's just backstory) and I'll start entertaining notions of publishing it as a sort of companion to Penta 1 and 2. But for now the thought that NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO SEE IT is what is letting me take these roadblocks at R-R-R-RAMMING SPEED!!
Everything I've never wanted to write about is in here. Child abuse. Sex (both kinds!). Assault. Rape. Vampirism (muchly!). Full-on insanity. Murder. Attempted murder. Sexual enslavement. Genocide. The killing of innocence. Drug use. Armaggeddon.
What can I say, it's Kaz. He's had a tough life.
Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately?), before my mind can tell me how sick this probably makes me, the muse takes the reins again. I don't even know where all this is coming from, I swear the muse has me possessed.
Which isn't necessarily a good thing.
I just remind myself that this is less a story than it is an exercise. It's a way for me to bust through these roadblocks. It's a way to force myself to mature as a writer. Writers can't be afraid to touch on any subject, so that's what I'm training myself. Kaz, poor soul, just provides an outlet for all these topics I've shied away from. Ironically enough, everything I'm having happen to him makes a lot of sense when I look at him from the Penta persepective. How did a mild-mannered victim of his father's rage become the maniac he is now? It provides a lot of insight, not just into Kaz but into people in general. That's what comes with biography writing, you see how a person transitions from one stage of their life to another. You see the slow evolution and the sudden bolts that force a person to change. The difference is it's fiction.
I'd recommend this excercise to anyone who wants to expand their writing--I'm serious. Take a character, preferably one who's had a long, hard life (since they're more interesting). What made them the person they are now? How did they get those scars? Why do they shut down when someone else broaches a certain topic? Why won't they talk about their past? What were their parents like? Why do they build walls around their lives?
I've answered almost all these questions with Kaz--through a lot of misery on his part and some on my part (it's tough shit to write)--and now he feels more real than ever. Do this with your characters and you'll be able to give them three dimensions when you write the actual story. I swear.
Plus anything that ties you down gets cut. You'll be able to write about any subject without blushing or bursting into tears.
Though sometimes tears are good. :)
Now, if only someone actually read this damn journal...
Officially.
No one.
Is ever.
Going to read.
Kaz's Story.
I say this not because it's bad writing (it sort of is). I say this not because it was never meant to be a part of the Penta project.
I say this because Kazriel's Story is the place where I am breaking down the last of the roadblocks I have shied away from in the past.
To be blunt, I am no longer a writing virgin.
I figure my mentality is going to change once it's done (I'm 104 pages in currently--pretty good considering it's just backstory) and I'll start entertaining notions of publishing it as a sort of companion to Penta 1 and 2. But for now the thought that NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO SEE IT is what is letting me take these roadblocks at R-R-R-RAMMING SPEED!!
Everything I've never wanted to write about is in here. Child abuse. Sex (both kinds!). Assault. Rape. Vampirism (muchly!). Full-on insanity. Murder. Attempted murder. Sexual enslavement. Genocide. The killing of innocence. Drug use. Armaggeddon.
What can I say, it's Kaz. He's had a tough life.
Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately?), before my mind can tell me how sick this probably makes me, the muse takes the reins again. I don't even know where all this is coming from, I swear the muse has me possessed.
Which isn't necessarily a good thing.
I just remind myself that this is less a story than it is an exercise. It's a way for me to bust through these roadblocks. It's a way to force myself to mature as a writer. Writers can't be afraid to touch on any subject, so that's what I'm training myself. Kaz, poor soul, just provides an outlet for all these topics I've shied away from. Ironically enough, everything I'm having happen to him makes a lot of sense when I look at him from the Penta persepective. How did a mild-mannered victim of his father's rage become the maniac he is now? It provides a lot of insight, not just into Kaz but into people in general. That's what comes with biography writing, you see how a person transitions from one stage of their life to another. You see the slow evolution and the sudden bolts that force a person to change. The difference is it's fiction.
I'd recommend this excercise to anyone who wants to expand their writing--I'm serious. Take a character, preferably one who's had a long, hard life (since they're more interesting). What made them the person they are now? How did they get those scars? Why do they shut down when someone else broaches a certain topic? Why won't they talk about their past? What were their parents like? Why do they build walls around their lives?
I've answered almost all these questions with Kaz--through a lot of misery on his part and some on my part (it's tough shit to write)--and now he feels more real than ever. Do this with your characters and you'll be able to give them three dimensions when you write the actual story. I swear.
Plus anything that ties you down gets cut. You'll be able to write about any subject without blushing or bursting into tears.
Though sometimes tears are good. :)
Now, if only someone actually read this damn journal...
